Thursday, April 25, 2013

Sometimes you just need to laugh...

Excerpt from Tina Fey's Bossypants


"But I think the first real change in women's body image came when JLo turned it butt-style.  That was the first time that having a large-scale situation in the back was part of mainstream American beauty.  Girls wanted butts now.  Men were free to admit that they had always enjoyed them.  And then, what felt like moments later, boom-- Beyoncé brought the leg meat. A back porch and thick muscular legs were now widely admired.  And from that day forward, women embraced their diversity and realized that all shapes and sizes are beautiful.  Ah ha ha. No.  I'm totally messing with you.  All Beyoncé and JLo have done is add to the laundry list of attributes women must have to qualify as beautiful.  Now every girl is expected to have:
Caucasian blue eyes
full Spanish lips
a classic button nose
hairless Asian skin with a California tan
a Jamaican dance hall ass
long Swedish legs
small Japanese feet
the abs of a lesbian gym owner
the hips of a nine-year-old boy
the arms of Michelle Obama
and doll tits
The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.  Everyone else is struggling."

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