Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Well that Went Quickly

Welcome back Everyone!  I consider my first blog calendar week a success as I posted 3 whole days in a row!  You gotta start somewhere!  Let's see if I can keep up with this momentum.

So this weekend I went back to my childhood home to prepare it to be put on the market.  All of the feelings ensued....and I was really not prepared for it/them.  I kept thinking, it's no big deal and though I had known this was happening for literally years, I truly never had a second though about it.  But my open weeping on the train home assured me that, in fact, I was really quite unprepared for this emotionally.  And now I'm feeling all sorts of ways about passing time and moving on and general things that make me curl up in my bed and sob.  I will take that over public sobbing, but I would also be pleased with less crying altogether.

I am the first to admit that purging feels good.  Hunkering down this weekend to look at what I have accumulated and what I no longer need to hold onto was freeing and has reinforced my desire to simplify my life in my own teeny-tiny apartment here in New York.  But the end result, why I was doing the actual purging, is what hurts.  And it hurts all the way down to my core.  The house will sell and eventually (I think sooner rather than later) I will be heading back home one last time to fully clean my life out of there, but I am really just not sure if I am ready for that.  

My parents moved us into my home when I was only 3 weeks old so I have never known anything else.  And while there new home in Florida is wonderful, it is obviously just not the same.  As someone who has never experienced this type of loss, I feel incapable of handling all of the emotions that go along with it.  Any tips or advice from more experienced movers?  

From living in New York, I am well aware that moving sucks.  But this is a whole new realm beyond carrying far too many boxes up far too many stairs.  

How do you deal when the heaviest boxes are those filled with over two decades of memories?

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